OCTOBER

SO I've spent the last 4+ months waiting for this month to arrive. Not because it's my favorite month of the year, nor because of Halloween (my favorite Holiday) NOR because I bought my house in October and every year I will mark another year of living in it.

I was supposed to be attending a comic convention in Canada this coming weekend - leaving for MSP tomorrow in fact. I say supposed to because about 3 weeks ago I suddenly became quite ill on my way home from school. I don't even remember parts of my drive home. Nor that paramedics were in my home to revive me and take me to the hospital. I remember bits and pieces AT the hospital, including my really bitchy POS nurse, who was rude and didn't want to take care of the 'hyperventilating' patient she was assigned to. In fact, she so much did NOT want to take care of me, she falsified medical documents to get me OUT of the room, so she could sign off on my care. Too bad for them that they didn't do a brain scan - they might have found the bleeder in my head. The one that started my stroke symptoms. Had they run tests looking for blood clots, they may have found out I was throwing them left and right - hmm. Maybe they would have diagnosed me correctly and thereby give me the medication that could have helped me, vs looking at my stomach for signs of appenditicitis. Never mind that I didn't have a fever, was'nt complaining of abdominal pain, yes, my stomach felt upset - very upset. But that isn't the same as abdomen pain.

But I digress..

Several online buddies of mine and myself, were to meet up in Minneapolis and than drive over the border together. Friday night was to be spent having dinner with Justin Hartley - just us 7 along with his publicist and some friend of the convention organizer. Us FANS who have followed him since he first appeared on our TV screens playing 'Fox' on the soap opera Passions. It all promised to be a BLAST!

.. but then this happened. This mystery illness thing that keeps plaguing me, this illness that causes my heart to pump eractically and cause me to become ill. They can't even give me a 'pill' to stop it. crap.

So I'll spend the weekend feeling a little bit sorry for myself. I'll bemoan the fact that I won't be with them, living each moment. But because I'm never one to be 'truly' jealous, I'll be estactic for them and just wait to hear all about it. And I hear it's supposed to be in the 70's - so I'll sit outside and soak up the sun and watch the leaves fall, and listen to the squirrels run around in the trees above my head, chattering at each other as they fight over the remaining acorns on the branches.

This will still be my favorite month of the year.